75% Stupid

I was driving with the Sig talking about the approaching hurricane when I made an off the hand comment on all of the fake storm windows on houses in our area. I always find it amusing when I notice something and then I can not unnoticed it. You would think that in the area that we live in the storm shutters would be real, like they were when plantations were here, but nooooo not the bright bulbs around here. Do they learn from history? Nope they just throw up some fake plywood shutters for decoration and bolt them down to the side of the house, you know, because that makes sense. After driving from my in laws house to my sons school I realized that about 75% of the houses have fake storm shutters and maybe two out of every hundred have real ones. Welcome to hurricane central home of the cheap and the stupid. My favorite though has to be the trailers with fake storm shutters…very intelligent.

Well, shutters aside we are pretty well prepared at our place for Gustav and Hanna, and no worries my friends. If it gets bad my little family is heading north. Until then it will be interesting.

Phenomenon

So there haven’t been any recent sightings of Elvis. I wonder what happened to him. It could just be me though, I can not remember the last time I glanced at a tabloid magazine in the line at the super market. That is how I kept my Elvis knowledge up to date after all. Still I was beginning to feel like the tabloids were letting me down a little, gone are the days of Elvis, alien children, and three headed chickens. Those great stories were replaced by more celebrity sleaze. How ever it could not be just the regular who slept with who, no it has to be over the top, since it is a tabloid after all. I feel slightly betrayed. Maybe that in itself is why I have not seen any Elvis news, maybe that is why I have not noticed the tabloids at all, it all just blends together these days. I did how ever see a magazine calling a actress over weight when she could have only weighed 130lbs at the most. It made me want to vomit.

Speaking of the wacky, has anyone else been as amused by this Bigfoot nonsense in the news as I have? The DNA evidence came back from the labs and apparently it belongs to a opossum. Not that much of a difference right? I mean anyone could confuse the two. Both live in the woods. Both are fuzzy. Hehehe, the autopsy results are still pending, and I can not wait. After all anyone that has followed my writing knows that out of all of the mythological creatures Bigfoot is the only one that really unnerves me. I think that the reasoning behind it is simple enough, we do not know enough about Bigfoot for me to feel confident enough on how to kill it should I need to. Vampires, mummies, zombies, I am all over those, Bigfoot…not so much. Maybe I should go and observe so opossums, I could collect some new data.

A Ticket to Hell has Never Been Funnier

If hell actually exists I am probably going there. I always use to joke around about going to hell, but I never put any stock behind it. On the whole I try to be a good person, and not just to the people around me but also to strangers. I do not do it for ‘good points’ or anything like that, I just do it because I want to do what I can to make the world a little better. Anyway, back to the subject of me going to hell… So I was cracking up over a very un-PC joke that The Sig made yesterday, and trust me when I say that though The Sig is not a racist or insensitive person with the way he jokes sometimes it would make you wonder. He’s kind of like Carlos Mencia, but as a white guy it doesn’t quite work out as well for him. He horrified a co-worker of mine once because I mentioned that midst joke he called me a ‘soggy-cracker’ personally I thought the term was hilarious and pretty original. I mean half Mexican half White, soggy-cracker, pretty clever, my co-worker didn’t think it was funny however. Like I said she was horrified, I had to explain that he had a very quirky sense of humor. However as I was tearing up with laughter yesterday I thought to myself about how many people would frown at us at that moment because they lacked senses of humor, and that made me come back to the question if a higher power exists can take a joke? I have always held a strong ‘yes’ to both of those, how ever I have to wonder. I think the strange whacked out beliefs I do have are falling under question yet again. I guess this is what you would call a crisis of faith, not religious, but definitely spiritual. I have felt this crisis threatening for about a month now, since that terrible accident on the eighth took a very important person from my life. Who knew that it would take The Sig and I laughing at the short bus to really bring it crashing down on me. Some people turn to religion in their times of trial, like my mom, she has gone completely ‘end of the world is upon us’ Christian. I have never been one of those people. I do not agree with organized religions at all, but I do have my own beliefs, and at the moment I find that they are all being called into question. Interesting I started this article today with the intention of writing about how I am probably going to be going to hell in a hand basket because the higher power does not have the sense of humor that I suppose, and I end up writing something about a crisis of faith. Hmmm…I think my soul might be a little to heavy for my own good.