Sex Sells, Even Manatee Sex

Happy Valentine's Day all. Even if you have been chewed up and spit out by the razor like chompers of love then Happy Excuse To Eat Chocolate Until You Puke Day! I hope all expectations for the day are met, and if they are not, then I hope we can find a way to exact swift revenge together. Contact me for revenge ideas, I have a great one involving minnows, bologna, and a gas tank I have been itching to try out.

The Sig and I attempted to watch The Libertine last night. I say attempted because about half way through the movie the Sig wandered off to do something else with one of our friends. The acting was well done, the cinematography was not amazing but it also wasn't bad, the language was gorgeous, and all in all I would recommend it because it also had a interesting story. It was, however, the closest thing to a artistic porn I have ever seen. Do not watch it if you are feint of heart, it has some very graphic scenes, in fact it is all one long graphic scene. But if you can stand sex and giant wooden moving phallic images then the movie will be worth your time. I just want to make sure you are pre-warned.

Anyone hear about the exotic animal sex tours a number of zoos around the country are offering? That's right! Nothing says 'I Love You' more than taking your darling to watch animals have sex at the zoo. Not enough you say? Well then you are in luck! You not only get to catch a mating or two of the exotic but you will also have the opportunity to eat dinner out side of the manatee tank where an orgy could break out at any moment! After all the manatee is the hippie of the animal kingdom. Still not enough, hmm? Alright, fine then, if you're going to be a die hard romantic, you can also hear interesting facts about the length, shape, and weight of certain animal's penises, and about how they mate. There that should do it for you! Are you feeling romantic yet? Think you'll impress your date with a evening full of romantic animal sex? Yeah, I don't think I want to know the answer to that question. I will sleep better with out worrying about the rising percentage of bestiality.

Happy Love Day...don't sleep with the wild life.