Enemy Union

I came very close to uniting with the guy in the black truck this morning to take out a mutual enemy in the continual road war I fight every day. A woman managed to cut both of us off this morning and for a split second, we glanced at each other through our windows, both of us had our faces contorted in annoyance, and then we started laughing. War I tell you. He zoomed off and the two of them played a very dangerous game of cat and mouse while I stayed far enough behind to feel reasonably safe. I did however consider speeding up to help the notorious guy in the black truck block her in. I'm proud of myself that I refrained from doing so.

I'm starving today. I don't know why but I have this amazing unsatisfiable hunger going on. I hate that. I know that this isn't a subject that anyone really cares about aside from myself, but you're going to read about it any way. Why? Because I'm the one typing.

Today the highlights of my news reading morning come down to three stories.

1. Child molester gets life in prison. Check the story out on MSN news, this guy deserves to be in prison and raped nightly until the day he dies. Sicko, I'm thrilled that he will no longer be a loose predator.

2. Purse snatching in church thwarted. Who goes around snatching purses in church? That's just wrong. Don't steal, period, let alone from any kind of gathering where people are worshipping what ever they believe in spiritually. Mainly because if you get caught those people will feel the right to act as the hand of what ever deity they believe in and smote your ass. In this case two men tried to make off with plastic bags of purses, and the elderly rose up and beat the tar out of them. Good for the seniors! Beat them down!

3. Mountain lion attack victim is now in critical condition. A California, bay area, hiker was attacked by a female mountain lion last week. The gentleman is in his seventies, and has a very dedicated lovely wife pictured at his side. Over the weekend his condition worsened and he is now in critical care. Everyone who has ever lived in California knows about the mountain lions, when I was little we had one that romped around in our field, but it is easy to forget. It is a grisly reminder of how low on the totem poll we really are. I hope for the best for this gentleman and his family. It's sad news. Hopefully his deity is with him.

Addict

I have several serious addictions. Nothing like black tar heroine, but addictions still. For example if I don't have some form of coffee in the morning lord help anyone that comes in contact with me. As with all addictions the coffee thing started off innocently enough, a cup here, a cup there, but then something happened. I started working mornings in a coffee shop. It went down hill from there. Fast forward a handful of years and you what do you get? A serious problem. Let me run you through a few of the changes.
1. 9 years ago- I would drink any kind of coffee.
Today- I have to have a specialty coffee shipped to my house, express mail, and vacuum sealed for the perfect taste.
2. 9 years ago- I didn't give a thought to the bean coming to me pre-ground.
Today- I actually caught myself scoffing at pre-ground coffee the other day. It's whole beans or nothing!
3. 9 years ago- I would pour some tap water in to the pot and roll with it.
Today- If it doesn't come out of a bottle it doesn't become my coffee.
4. 9 years ago- I had a tiny, sad, cheap coffee maker.
Today- I have a coffee maker that has the IQ of most accountants. Then there are the coffee makers counter parts, the grinder, and the espresso maker.
5. 9 years ago- I kept my coffee in a tin can.
Today- Seriously, vacuum sealed.
All I can say in defense to this addiction is that it could be, and probably will be, worse. I guess the first step to finding help is admitting you have a problem. I wonder if they have meetings for people like me, and if they do what kind of coffee they serve.

Another addiction that at times can be pricey is my constant reading problem. If I don't have a book to read then there is a problem with the world. As a result of this addiction I am waiting on the next book in three different series, had the images of several childhood idols destroyed, and no longer have room left in several closets due to books, I am also currently upset at four authors I have never met (two of which I adore). This is a problem.

I have other addictions, all of which I manage to control fairly well. The video game addiction might very soon become a problem. Since the Wii is just so cool, and there are a few games I think I might need. Notice the use of the word need, yeah so did I. Next week I'm sure I will be writing this from a padded cell far away from any access to my bank account, and you know, as long as they let me have my coffee and a book I'll probably be alright with it.

Lucky and Indonesia

Announcement: I finally got my Wii! That's right! And it is everything I wanted it to be and more. Pure bliss, baby. To all of you still waiting, you have my sympathy, I know how it feels.

My sister has the strangest luck of anyone I have ever known, so in reference to her from now on I will simply call her Lucky. Today I bring you a story from Lucky's life, to amuse and to remind us all that even the simplest task can take a very strange turn when we least expect it.
Enjoy...

Lucky's boyfriend forgot to send off the cable bill and as a result their cable was cut off. Funny term cut off, when it is said it conjures images of a blank screen or a lack of a dial tone, perhaps a inability to read a blog, but it rarely brings to mind a cut cable. Literally they came out to her house and cut her cable. Now if Lucky had failed to pay her cable before I might be a little more understanding of this behavior but as she had not I was just as amazed as she. By the way, when have any of you actually heard of the cable company cutting the line? Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, right? Well, it gets stranger. Lucky does what I'm sure any of us would do and calls them. The woman who answers the customer service line not only speaks very little English, but she also has such a thick and strange accent that after a few minutes of pure confusion Lucky gives up determined to call back later. Eventually later arrives, her customer service representative on the line on this attempt also has a very thick accent but he at least speaks a little more English. Finally, Lucky asks very annoyed, "Where is it my call is going to exactly?" She glances down at the newspaper on her table while waiting for a reply. The headline on the front page 'Earthquake in Indonesia Kills Four'. The customer service reps response, "Indonesia."

Naturally.

Lucky realizing that these people are most likely more concerned with fresh drinking water, and housing, then her cable tries to contact someone else. This turned in to a strange little excursion all it's own which landed her on the phone with a commercial operator for the cable company, by this time Lucky had lost her patience, and when the gentleman suggested calling the customer representatives she lost her temper.

Lucky- "Do you know where the calls go when you call the customer help line?"
Guy- "Uh, no ma'am."
Lucky- "I thought they would go to some where at least in California, but no! You know where they go? They go to Indonesia!"
Guy- "Indonesia?"
Lucky- "Yeah, that's right, Indonesia! They just had an earthquake in Indonesia that killed four, I don't think they care about my cable right now!!! They're worried about their drinking water!"
Guy- "Ma'am I'm sorry but I can't help you."
Lucky- "Of course!"

After that happy conversation she takes the time to drive down to the cable companies office. Things would have probably gone a whole lot smoother if the woman in front of her had her cable cut off, considering she was months over due and Lucky had just forgotten to send in one payment. Well, by the time she actually reached a person she was ready to throttle him. He raised a eyebrow at her as she went through the whole story, cut cable, forgotten bill, Indonesia, earthquake, drinking water, etc. She paid her bill in full, as was her original intention, but when ever the guy tried to ask her a question she would just respond with, "INDONESIA!" Hehe, her cable gets reconnected tomorrow.

For the rest of us...I know I will not forget to pay a bill for a long time.

Rinse, Recycle, Repeat

Those recycling whacks are giving me the run around. Oh, I did not forget about them, fear not, I just have not been fortunate enough to get anywhere. They keep re-directing me. I'm fairly convinced they have a plan in action to redirect the public until the public gives up. Meanwhile, stubborn as I am, I refuse to give up. Yesterday while stuck in traffic behind one of the recycling trucks I actually saw the recycling whacks climb out of the truck open a bin, tear open a bag, and then throw it as hard as humanly possible across the bin owner's lawn. I then saw jaws drop from others stuck in traffic around me. The recycling nutt did this to every bag in the bin. I probably would have jumped out of my car and done something but I was in a hurry to get to work. However, watching the whack job do exactly what I knew they were doing just encouraged me to get in touch with some official in the department. Crazy...

In other news, did everyone hear about the Tijuana police getting their guns taken away from them? Instead they now have slingshots. I'm not entirely sure what to think about this, but no matter what I find the image of a bunch of cops surrounding a suspect slingshots raised, shouting 'Stop or we'll shoot!' Hilarious!

There is also the news of the very fortunate man who survived being swallowed by a great white in Australia. He was out diving with his son, and some friends when a ten foot great white attacked. The gentleman is doing well, and I encourage you all to read his full story on Reuters. Poor guy, I think I would be in a padded cell for a long time if I was swallowed by anything!

The last bit of news that made me roar this morning was about a nutt in a country I can't pronounce (or probably spell) landing in jail for parrot smuggling. He was caught transporting 500 of these colorful birds across the boarder in...get this...an Audi! Police are still trying to figure this one out.

I'm disturbed to note that a new serial killer has been caught in Canada. Who knows how close this sicko came to getting away with killing forty-nine women. He told an undercover cop that he was going to retire after making it an even fifty. I doubt a sicko like that would ever have retired, but all of these facts are not what disturbed me the most. What really bothered me was that the news did not surprise me. What kind of world do we live in when forty-nine grisly deaths do not surprise the masses? Or am I alone in my expectation of the worst possible from the news each morning? I doubt I am, and if I am wrong, well the cheese stands alone and I've never heard it complain.

Mad As A Rabbit

I called little man's school earlier to find out how he was, since he's still ill, and I got this snotty (unknown to me) little b!tch on the line. Normally when I identify myself, tell them who my child is and why I am calling his teacher is put on the line. However this was not the case a few minutes ago. The woman not only had nothing to do with his class but she did not even check on him, and then dawned the attitude of someone that was coping with a very rude, disgusting, and out of line person. Now, normally I would not give two sh!ts that some little snot was giving me attitude, however when my child is involved it is a different story. I was, and still am, so mad I'm shaking. The little b!tch is lucky I don't drive over there and beat the holy he!! out of her snotty a$$! Instead I'm letting the Sig deal with it. I really don't want to end up in jail this year.

Speaking of BS- Anyone hear about the mother that killed her kids in San Francisco? Crazy, apparently literally, at least that was the ruling. Alright, so she's crazy, so what? She still murdered her kids, can we please do something about this?

More BS- How about the Feds raiding that medical marijuana clinic in Los Angeles? Medical marijuana is legal according to the state law, but since it's illegal federally sick people are still going to suffer. Not to mention clinic workers who are just doing their jobs as state licensed medical providers are going to end up going to jail, having their licenses revoked, and end up having their lives destroyed as labeled drug dealers. Ah, we are a country of hypocrisy.

On the Plus- The kidnapped boy in Missouri was found, along with another boy that has been missing for four years. I can not imagine the relief their families must feel, and I only hope for the fastest recovery for both boys. After all there are going to be some deep hurt there for a long time. I also hope the sick f@#k that was holding them prisoner suffers long and hard.

With this very angry post you might all be thinking that I'm acting a bit too harshly. Some of you might be thinking 'Wickkett, calm down!' My defense, imagine yourself in the position of the victim or even worse, in the position of the victims parents. Then I'm sure things would be a tad different.

Infecting the World

Little man has been battling a raging infection for almost a week now. He got sick on Friday, the Sig stayed at home with him and kept pumping meds in to him until his fever broke. The only problem is his fever never broke. The doctor's office was closed on the weekend, and by Monday I was really worried. Little man went in to the doctors office at the first available time on Monday to find out he had a quadruple infection. Poor kid, no wonder he was up crying every night! I would be too! His fever finally broke yesterday, and he is on four different kinds of medicine one for each infected area I suppose. Today is his first day back at school and my first day back at work. I've had very little sleep since Thursday night, so hand in there, I'm sure I'm not the most coherent.

Why is it doctors offices are closed on weekends? This seems pretty selfish to me. I know that there are clinics open on weekends, but personally I don't want to go to some strange clinic when I'm sick, I want to go to my family doctor. You know, some one I know and trust, not a stranger. But for this trust I have to take the time off of work (when I could have suffered through the week behind my desk and been paid for it) lose that money, and then pay whatever the co-pay is, and then I have to pay what ever price there is for the medicine, and all the while I'm thinking to myself that I could be using this time to make money. What a inconvenience it is to be sick, the least the doctors could do is make getting well more convenient! If I could have taken little man to the doctor on the weekend his infection wouldn't have been so bad, instead, well, instead I get saddled with a huge bill a very sick child, and I have to miss two days of work. On the plus side, I read two and a half books. Reading time is always fun time.

Anyone read the news article about the whack job in Newark that raped a pit bull pup? Sicko! They are offering a $5,000.00 award for his capture. Please go to Fox News and read the details. People like this need to go to jail where they will experience what it feels like to have that crime done to them. Poor dog.

And still, no signs of Wii. Sad.

Do You Even Have A License?

I was run off the road today for the third time this week. I'm beginning to believe that they don't really have drivers tests around here, instead they mail you a license on your 16th birthday, or when your feet touch the pedals, what ever comes first. There are so many people out there that are very lucky that I don't carry a gun with me, or drive a monster truck. I would be in jail.
With the drivers and the freezing rain I wonder why I still live in this state. I wonder that a lot.

Last year at this time I realized I was fat. Seriously, I had no idea, then one day the Sig told me, "Honey, you're over weight." Talk about a wake up call. I use to be a model, how could I be so unaware of my appearance? Well, needless to say I hit the gym like I dream of hitting the notorious guy in the black truck. Over the past year I've lost over fifty pounds, and I'm no longer fat, I am however still not back down to my modeling weight. That is my biggest goal. So I still go to the gym almost every day, I eat like a bunny, and I do more sit-ups in one week then most people do in a lifetime, and starting Saturday I will even have my own personal trainer. Shallow you say...ah...no, not so much. I'm doing this for myself. I'm happy with myself on all levels except for that one, and I intend to be completely happy with the person I am. So now that the long set up is out of the way. I've noticed a few things over the past year about the gym:

1. We Are NOT In The 80's! - The 80's scene found it perfectly acceptable to pick woman and men at the gym, twenty years later and it's not. If I wanted someone to hit on me I would go to a bar. But if you don't see a drink on my hand it's wise to leave me alone. Also the ring on the finger does not mean you have the right to ask me if my marriage is a happy one. In fact talking to me at all when I'm at the gym is dangerous at best.
2. Do You Have A Mirror? - I am no one to comment on the way a person looks - ever - but at my most bulky there were a whole slew of things I would not wear. For that matter there are things I would not wear at my thinest! I applaud anyone brave enough to make those courageous leaps at the fashionable glory. But please try to avoid any thong combination outside of a pair of leotards, especially if that thong is going to be doing any kind of disappearing act on the machine in front of me.
3. Clear The Machines - I hate it that no one ever resets the ellipticals. It's just a pet peeve of mine, kind of like really pointy shoes, or William Shatner.
4. Do You See The Book? - Seriously, I do not like to be talked to while I'm working out. Unless I know the person, and even then it's rare. I am not trying to be mean, I'm just not that talkative when I'm dripping with sweat. I always have a book, my i-pod, or my DS with me. It is pretty obvious I am other wise preoccupied, so it would be best if I was just left alone. Some one climbing on a machine next to me trying to strike up a conversation usually ends up feeling rather awkward. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mean or rude, I'm just not particularly inclined to talk. I would just like to be left alone with my sweat and distractions.
5. Good For you! - There has been a large jump in the number of people at the gym lately, and I think that is pretty fantabulous! As annoying as it is to fight for a parking spot (even at 5am) I'm happy to see my fellow human beings taking the initiative to be healthier. Yay for you! Way to go! Let's eat a pizza to celebrate! -Please-

Techno Breakdown

I am aware it has been a week since my last post. I have been having technological difficulties here at work all week. I'm sure since all of you are at least slightly familiar with computer you know exactly how I feel. Anyway, on to the observations of the past week.

1. More Anger On The Road- Alright, we all know I'm a very angry person. When I climb in to a car and I'm surrounded by people who obviously bribed the DMV to get their licenses I get very frustrated. Considering the 45 minute drive I have every morning, well let's just say that I take all my frustrations out at the gym. I spend a decent time at the gym. I do this instead of buying a gun and taking that guy in the black truck out. I burn off the aggression on an elliptical instead of ending up a case on the evening news. I'm beginning to notice that others need to find some kind of outlet as well. Last night I think two guys behind me (one of them the guy in the black truck) were about to get violent. Fortunately for the guy in the black truck he got away, unfortunately he chose to do so by cutting me off...again. Man, I hate that guy.

2. Loss Of Identity- I am the product of America. My ancestors immigrated here, and not all that long ago. I am half Mexican, and I'm proud of that, but I was born American and will always feel the strong American ties even if I move to another country. I do how ever realize that if I move to another country (unless I'm fleeing something) it would be wise to speak the native language, know how to use the currency, apply for citizenship, learn the laws, fly that countries flag, and get a license before I climb behind the wheel. I do not expect that country to cater to me in any way, why should I? If they did then their country would no longer be their own. I respect all nationalities, religions, and races. I am fascinated with other cultures. I believe all people should be respected, and be given all the freedoms our country has to offer, but in return I ask for a few things. As a country I believe we should all ask for these things.

-Speak our language; don't expect us to change our countries language because you refuse to change. I get behind anyone who is bi-lingual, what a wonderful thing! Learn as many languages as you possibly can! It is a wonderful skill for traveling and for the odd occurrence when a chance traveler does not speak English. It should NOT be a job requirement.
-I get that you are very proud of your country but if I see another flag painted on a car, truck, window, door, or gravestone I may wretch. I'm proud of my heritage, but you don't see any of those flags on my car, why...because I live here. Plus, flags on cars are just kind of tacky. That goes for the confederate flag too people! You lost the war, get over it!
-Don't expect us to use anything but our own currency! There is a pizza place in Dallas that is now accepting Mexican currency. Seriously I read an article about it yesterday. I'm more upset about this than I thought I ever would be.

Bottom line either we keep our own culture or we lose it, and right now we're letting it slip away. We try to respect everyone's culture, and that is great, but we need to remember to respect our own as well. We are a country made of immigrants, we are filled with diversity, and this is one of our strongest points. We can keep that diversity with out losing ourselves in the process. Don't be so afraid of offending others that you one day wake up and realize that you are offending yourself by not standing up for yourself and your country.

3. Illness- There have been (I feel) a very unusually large number of people getting sick. These people have been not only falling victim to this junk that's going around, but they are staying sick. Throw in the birds falling dead out of the sky in Texas, and the strange smell in New Jersey and New York, interesting thoughts start popping up. Then we add the war to the cocktail, throw in a dash of global stupidity, and then a splash of chaotic weather breaking out everywhere and we've got one funky scary combination. My prediction...expect to see the guys standing on the corners of busy streets with the large card board signs talking about the end of the world any day now. And when you see these crazies that envision themselves as modern prophets (and who knows they might be) take the opportunity to do something nice for someone else. Buy them a cup of coffee and take it to them, after all, that shouting about the end of the world is tired thirsty work.

4. No Wii- I know I've posted on this before, but come on! WTF?

5. Language News- I've read quite a few articles about what words should no longer be used, and what words should be used more. Most of these I can get behind. However there is one I strongly disagree with. It has been written that 'awesome' should no longer be allowed into daily conversation because it has diminished in value, and rarely means what it is actually defined as. I say SCREW THAT! Let's redefine and force it into the daily vocabulary of everyone from priests to surfers. Personally I think that would be awesome!

Celeb Degen

Has anyone else noticed the decline in sanity with our celebrities? Better question, has anyone not noticed the decline in sanity of the freak show that we have turned into American royalty? What happened to the class acts that used their money on the press to cover up the stupidity in their lives so they at least appeared perfect? Remember the great dames and gentleman of the silver screen, back when it was still silver. Joan Crawford, Ava Gardener, Gretta Garbo, Sinatra, Clark Gable, or Bogey, what happened to stars of the past. We didn't find out about their insane actions, or incidents until much later. No, I'm not telling Hollywood to cover up the indiscretions and insanity that seems to have become the standard, don't assume that. I am telling the reporters out there, the trash mag editors, and all paparazzi, to focus on the more positive influences on the circuit. We really don't need to hear about who is slutting around with who for the fifteenth time this week, and I know personally I have no desire to hear about Britney Spears underwear...ever. I think of reading magazines, and entertainment sections of the news as the closest thing to watching a train wreck or a public execution that our society can provide. The only problem with the morbid fascination we adults show to provide these nut jobs with celebrity is the affect it is having on our younger generation. When was the last time you heard some random young girl talk about her idolization of Britney, Paris, or Lindsey? I'm going to bet it wasn't long enough. Yay, let's encourage our kids to idolize the trashiest people possible! Let's tell them, obviously since these celebrities have won the ultimate popularity contest (and we know that's what kids want) just act like a complete mook and it could happen to you too! Just look at K-Fed. I shouldn't be so hard on ol' Fed-ex, at least he's taken some of the heat off of Vanilla Ice.
I went out with a friend last night, you know because I'm smart and I knew that going out and staying up late was the best way to fight this tenacious bronchitis. We went out to this little coffee house / bar that is one of my favorite bars, and definitely my favorite coffee house in town. It was a nice little outing filled with chocolate coco with raspberries for me, and a very hard drink for her. We then stopped off to pick up her husband and head back to my house where the Sig kiddie sat ever so patiently awaiting our return. Which was a very nice thing to do (ahem). It was when we got home that I really slipped up. I decided to take some NyQuil, you know because that's what you do when you're sick, but I didn't take the fact that it was a larger bottle with a larger cap in mind. I wasn't really firing on all cylinders yesterday. That said, I filled the cap all the way to the top and tossed it back before I thought twice about it, and then I promptly realized I took a double dose. The night ended right there. I fell asleep very shortly there after and I have been asleep at work all day. Ever have a day that you don't realize you have your underwear on backwards until the day is almost over. That's the day I'm having today my dearest readers. So sympathize and be amazed I found my way to my desk!

New Year Same People

Some people start off the new year with hope, looking forward to a year they hope and pray will be better then the previous year, I am not one of those people. You might wonder, 'Why, Wickket, why?' My answer, dear readers is simple, you have to be born like that, not a cynical realist like I was. Really, the only thrill New Year's Eve ever held for me was staying up past my bed time when I was a tot. Other then that, I can drink any time I want to, and I rarely ever want to drink, and I realize that a new year does not mean everything will change. Everything could change, but a new year has nothing to do with it, it has to do with the people that make the changes. Yes, something might happen this year to move our world leaders to sanity, but let's face it, that's highly unlikely. Even more unlikely, that guy that thinks he's hilarious (you know that guy, he thinks he's friggin' Eddie Izzard) will take a clue and shut up. Point being, human nature is not easily turned or swayed so why look to some new year with the blind hope of the ignorant unless you intend to do something about it yourself? Write that letter, or email your state or city official like you keep threatening to do. Let us all raise our voices in unison and cry out "No!" Let's cry out against the injustice, poverty, hypocrisy, and evil that has such a firm hold on our world. Let us all remind that evil that good will always be stronger when we are united. Let us not be blinded with ignorance or false hope putting faith in fate to make changes for our future while we sit back and do nothing but hope. If you want the world to change then lets change it, but if you just want to ask what I think 2007 will hold, or if I think it will be a better year then prepare yourself for a dose of reality because I'm not pulling any punches. Read the news, it's not any better for 2007 then it was for 2006, chalk full of people doing stupid and cruel things. As for this little black duck, I intend to find out why the recycling people in our city refuse to take our recycling, it's not like I did something to them. We want to help the earth too! (Actually they do this to everyone in town) Yet, they just scatter our recycling all over our yard, leaving us to pick it up and throw it away. No one on our street even bothers anymore, and that makes me a sad panda.
I'm still battling the dreaded bronchitis, but I'm winning so that's a plus. Still, being sick for so long and during the holidays has me really angry. Big surprise. New Year's was rung in with the Sig and I both ill and playing a video game. If that is a sign of things to come then I'm not sure what to think about the new year. Yesterday was the first time I even left the house over the three day break, the rest of my time was spent on our couch. But I couldn't take it anymore by the time the afternoon rolled around yesterday so we went out to watch Happy Feet, and do a little shopping. Happy Feet is a surprise, it is a all around wonderful movie. The characters are interesting, the music is fantastic, the story is touching, it is visually beautiful, and it has Robin Williams in it. What more could you ask for in a family flick? If you get the opportunity check it out. After the movie we went shopping at Bed, Bath, & Beyond one of my favorite places to shop. You have to love a store that you can buy both the sharpest and the softest thing in your house at! We bought a new set of silverware, and some new steak knives, then we had to get a new silverware rack, and of course a new banana hammock. We went in there to buy new silverware, but then we had to walk back through the store and check out. It never ceases to amaze me how that store can make me feel so good about spending far too much money. After the delayed BB&B experience we had to stop at Petsmart and pick up a new fish for the tank. We bought a little orange guy that will school with my Tiger Barb. All in all for being sick it was a pretty active day! Especially since we also decided to tear down Christmas, and do some serious house cleaning as well.
Tomorrow...I'm going to start trying to figure out what is going on with our recycling department.