Do You Even Have A License?

I was run off the road today for the third time this week. I'm beginning to believe that they don't really have drivers tests around here, instead they mail you a license on your 16th birthday, or when your feet touch the pedals, what ever comes first. There are so many people out there that are very lucky that I don't carry a gun with me, or drive a monster truck. I would be in jail.
With the drivers and the freezing rain I wonder why I still live in this state. I wonder that a lot.

Last year at this time I realized I was fat. Seriously, I had no idea, then one day the Sig told me, "Honey, you're over weight." Talk about a wake up call. I use to be a model, how could I be so unaware of my appearance? Well, needless to say I hit the gym like I dream of hitting the notorious guy in the black truck. Over the past year I've lost over fifty pounds, and I'm no longer fat, I am however still not back down to my modeling weight. That is my biggest goal. So I still go to the gym almost every day, I eat like a bunny, and I do more sit-ups in one week then most people do in a lifetime, and starting Saturday I will even have my own personal trainer. Shallow you say...ah...no, not so much. I'm doing this for myself. I'm happy with myself on all levels except for that one, and I intend to be completely happy with the person I am. So now that the long set up is out of the way. I've noticed a few things over the past year about the gym:

1. We Are NOT In The 80's! - The 80's scene found it perfectly acceptable to pick woman and men at the gym, twenty years later and it's not. If I wanted someone to hit on me I would go to a bar. But if you don't see a drink on my hand it's wise to leave me alone. Also the ring on the finger does not mean you have the right to ask me if my marriage is a happy one. In fact talking to me at all when I'm at the gym is dangerous at best.
2. Do You Have A Mirror? - I am no one to comment on the way a person looks - ever - but at my most bulky there were a whole slew of things I would not wear. For that matter there are things I would not wear at my thinest! I applaud anyone brave enough to make those courageous leaps at the fashionable glory. But please try to avoid any thong combination outside of a pair of leotards, especially if that thong is going to be doing any kind of disappearing act on the machine in front of me.
3. Clear The Machines - I hate it that no one ever resets the ellipticals. It's just a pet peeve of mine, kind of like really pointy shoes, or William Shatner.
4. Do You See The Book? - Seriously, I do not like to be talked to while I'm working out. Unless I know the person, and even then it's rare. I am not trying to be mean, I'm just not that talkative when I'm dripping with sweat. I always have a book, my i-pod, or my DS with me. It is pretty obvious I am other wise preoccupied, so it would be best if I was just left alone. Some one climbing on a machine next to me trying to strike up a conversation usually ends up feeling rather awkward. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mean or rude, I'm just not particularly inclined to talk. I would just like to be left alone with my sweat and distractions.
5. Good For you! - There has been a large jump in the number of people at the gym lately, and I think that is pretty fantabulous! As annoying as it is to fight for a parking spot (even at 5am) I'm happy to see my fellow human beings taking the initiative to be healthier. Yay for you! Way to go! Let's eat a pizza to celebrate! -Please-