Alarming Fish

The Little Man asked me why we didn’t have a fancy alarm on our house the other day, and I told him we did. Very confused he tried to tell me that we did not. I told him yet again, very matter of factly, that yes we did. Finally he asked me what I meant. I told him our alarm was named Boo-Boo and she serves the purpose very well. I then had to explain further. Finally he agreed that she is a pretty good little alarm and the matter was put to rest. The matter was re-visited the next day while I was at work. The Sig called me and I could hear Boo in the back ground barking her little head off. Apparently some one was mowing their yard and she did not agree, but my Little Man walks by The Sig’s office pokes his head in and tells him very nonchalantly, “The alarm is going off.” The Sig and I were very amused. The kid is a mess.

So, I have seen quite a few unmarked ‘fish’ trucks all over the are lately. What exactly is a unmarked ‘fish’ truck, you might ask. Well dear reader that is a fabulous question. As far as I can tell a ‘fish’ truck is a large white truck of moving van size or larger with no markings on it what so ever a side from the word ‘fish’ printed in blue in small italics on the back. And naturally since I am so morbid the first thing that comes into my mind is one question…I wonder if there are dead bodies in that truck. I am not sure where I think the bodies are coming from, upon further review I think well, maybe they would be bodies in hidden storage from Katrina (and don’t think that it is not possible and still happening) or maybe it has something to do with the mob. That always brings the thoughts of one criminal or official saying, “No boss, I have the perfect idea. See we move it in a truck that says ‘fish’ on the back. No one will question that! It can’t go wrong.” By the time I make it to the destination my imagination has become the out of control train that has led my own body to the back of one of the ‘fish’ trucks due to my snooping questions. I don’t like those trucks, they’re beginning to really screw with my head.

Please Do Not Urinate on the Seat

Alright, we all know that I am not the delicate type. I am brass, straight forward, blunt, and extremely sarcastic. At work my sarcasm spills over into the halls like the rain flooding my front yard right now. But I will tolerate quite a bit before I just say screw it and draw the line in the sand. The perfect example of my point would be the bathrooms at work. I work in a very nice building with very nice bathrooms, well they were nice until the phantom pee-er came along and then before I know it there is pee every where. Yes, every where. Well, I have been working late quite regularly these days and the last thing I do before getting in to my car is stop off in the bathrooms and when I am tired from a long day of work I am not focused on looking for pee on a every surface. This scenario managed to play out twice before I hung signs clearly visible in every area of our bathroom. The signs are polite and yet too the point "Do Not Urinate on the Seats." (And I should have thrown in 'or on anything else' but it was a moot point.) The signs, though they caused a small scandal with the mystery over who hung them, seemed to work for a few weeks. A few weeks, but a few weeks is not forever. That was the line in the sand people, and the phantom pee-er has crossed it. Soon the signs are going to be changed, soon the signs are going to get mean, and soon I will be arrested for hanging out in the bathroom trying to catch said phantom in the act. This does not bode well. I know you will be waiting in anticipation to see how this goes.

The Least You Could Do

One of my dearest and oldest friends told me the other day that he is going to be getting married soon. I couldn’t be happier for him, if anyone I know deserves a happy marriage he does, but as most news does it made me reflect on some things. I started thinking about all of my friends and ex-lovers that are now married or about to be married and though I am insanely happy for all of them I couldn’t help but feel a little put off. No one could join some form of religious order requiring them to marry a god and live a life of celibacy secretly pining away for me for the rest of their lives? I mean, come on, my ego could have used that! When ever I ended a relationship they were destroyed, though of course we would either stay friends or try to pick the friendship up again over the years. As friends even though I gave little thought to it, I would watch or even help them move on becoming a stronger person with out my over powering influence exuding that much control over their lives. I am still extremely close with quite a few of these people, and I am very happy for them that they have moved on to lead a happier life. Still, some one could have gone off and lived a life of religious celibacy because I was too difficult to forget. I guess in a way we all want to be the one that is unforgettable, irreplaceable, even if we have moved on to a better happier lives ourselves.

In other news I am going to the opera tonight with a buisness associate. I am thrilled, to see Puccini sung live in Italian is an unforgettable sight.

Now it is off to the gym. Before that though, I tried a new product this morning that I have to say is absolutely amazing. It is called Soyrizo it tastes just like Chorizo except it is about 100 times less likely to give you a heart attack over years of use. Just had to share. Ta.