I look at the diets of my friends around me who complain about their weight and I am forced to wonder if they realize how fattening mayonnaise is. My diet lacks in things, I have lapses of judgement, splurges, and sometimes even mayonnaise. I am not above turning the hard core finger upon myself, but the day I start dipping fast food into mayo like it was made to be a dipping sauce then I want someone to harpoon me, because I'm going to need it. Blah. And don't even get me started on the rest of the perks that we are taking as glorified liberties with our eating habits. For example, ranch dressing is like mayonnaise, not everything is meant to be dipped in it. Not all food has to be fried, really it doesn't. I swear to you in the south you can get corn on the cob fried, it's just wrong. Vegetables are your friends as long as they are not deep fried and smothered in gravy. I believe in fried foods, gravy, ranch,and even mayonnaise but I do not believe they need to be eaten with every meal. Then there is bar-b-que sauce, nothing needs to be drowned in this tasty sauce. And if you partake in these foods entirely too much, do us all a favor and adjust your wardrobe accordingly. Please.
On moving news, I will be fleeing my current state and venturing farther south at the end of next week. I am very stressed out, very busy, and I think it might be possible that I could snap at any minute.
On snapping at any minute news, I am amazed that I managed to keep my composure (translates in to cursing at the top of my lungs instead of following every stupid rubber necker in front of me to where ever they where going and planting car bombs on their vehicles.) That is definitely the only thing I will not miss about this area! The way people drive in this entire state is amazingly stupid. Anyway, I was driving in to work yesterday and all of the sudden traffic comes to a halt on the interstate, I think 'Great another wreck.' People around here are awful about rubber necking. Boy was I wrong. Those idiots were stopping because there was a cop on the side of the highway, just sitting there. I'm sorry, but when in the hell did a police vehicle become a stop sign??? He should have given them a ticket for blocking traffic, and another for being stupid! I still want to hurt these people. But I'm just happy I managed to keep that vessel in my forehead from blowing. Yay for me.
Now...On to regular news.
Has everyone heard about Alec Baldwin? Everyone heard the tape that was leaked out by Kim Basingers' lawyers mother? Anyone left think he is still a nice guy? Amazing how insane some people can go even though they have the money for proper treatment. Sad really.
Aside from crazy celebrities there is real news out there. Of course we have all heard about the college massacre. A horrible moment for our country's history. My condolences to all the victims friends and family. Am I the only one that feels that the college needs some kind of emergency plan of action for the evacuation of the school due to crazies? Might be good to draw up, just in case. You know it does not seem very likely that an attack will happen at a school more then once, but it seems like their track record is not that great so they might just want to prepare for the worst and hope for they best. Sad that so many lives were lost, and even more futures altered, lives changed, and dreams destroyed. What are we becoming when something like this happens in our schools, to the youth of our country, the people who will make our future?
Another atrocity that I feel needs to have wider coverage is the story of the young journalism major at Columbia University. She was held captive, tortured and continuously raped for 19 hours on April 13th. I encourage you all to go to MSNBC and read the full article under the crime and punishment section. The guy cut her eye lids and then set the futon she was tied to on fire. The least we could do is recognize her case, and her attacker.
On to personal screwing with people news~ I believe that screwing with people might be my soul purpose in life, and if you do it right it not only adds amusement to your day but to the day of the screwie as well. For example, just start asking for random odd condiments if you get fast food or take out. Ask for mustard when you get a yogurt at McDonalds, or better yet ranch. Demand salsa with your sopapilla, or soy with your coconut ice cream. Give them something to talk about. Walk in to Fed-Ex and ask them how you could mail a gerbil, then ask them if it would help if it was dead. Intentionally get a ticket from a campus cop, then go to court to contest it. When the campus patrol man does not show up present your side of the case as a 'getting me back for calling him a rent-a-cop' motive. The judge will have a good laugh and the ticket will be thrown out (trust me). These things are a interesting way of channeling all that awful soul destroying stress we all get. Plus, I'm sure we have all had days where some one has done something so off for that situation you kept revisiting it in your minds eye and it brought with it a healthy laugh. Spread the laughter. Alec Baldwin could stand to do something odd like that every once in a while, it would help.
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