Slacker

I'm sure most of you, dear readers, are close to giving up on me. I have left a void where my sarcastic daily rant would normally be, and though you think I'm ignoring you, I swear I am not. My dearest readers, I have been buried under the shit storm that is moving to another state. If any of you have had a turn of events that has brought about a very large move for you then I am sure you understand. However, the person reading this and nodding thinking to him/her self 'I've done that!' when all you did was make a hour move, you need to stop thinking you understand. You need to stop right now because you don't. In fact, unless you have made a move of no less then 12 hours one way then I do not want to have you come up to me while I am putting my life in boxes and tell me about your harrowing journey of one hour away. Especially if I was the one that helped you move. That was really only aimed at a handful of people, most have enough common sense just to say, "Wow Wickkett, that sucks. Need help with that box?" That is what most people would do how ever I seem to be surrounded by morons lately. I get the feeling that the IQ of the public is lessening as my stress level is growing. But come on I know it's not all just me and I will give you examples.

1. A guy called me the other day and asked me how to spell Joe. It would have been a little more understandable if this was not his second time to ask. I almost said, "T-E-D, Joe." But he probably would have started writing out Ted on everything.
2. A whole bunch of people thought that Donald Trump would lose a bet, and a staged bet at that. I bring this up though and what do you think happens? I have a group of people trying to defend the validity of wrestling.
3. People keep calling me and beginning the conversation with "Duh...duh..." We really should do something to stop the inbreeding.
4.Another brilliant phone call was actually received by a friend and co-worker of mine, but since the perp is the ever present thorn in my ass I must repeat his crime here. He called and asked her what his phone said, he wanted to check his caller ID title, however he just asked her what his phone said. I blew a nut when I heard this, the proper answer to that question is -Ring Ring-!

Now these are just four run of the mill examples. I have to drive to that far off distant state we are moving to tomorrow so I'm sure I will have far more tales of stupidity to bring back to you. Yes, I'm leaving tomorrow during work to drive for a unhealthy amount of time by my onesies so I can catch a few hours sleep and then go and interview at a few places. After trying to charm people on very little sleep I then get to catch a few more hours sleep before waking up and driving back. This wouldn't be too bad if my CD player worked. Right now it is not just broken, but spiteful as well turning on at random moments and picking out the most hateful lyrics possible to spit at me before turning back off to leave me in confusion and anger. Anger more then the confusion now that I know what it is up to. When I finally make it back to my house, exhausted, and road worn, it will be time to hang out with the Sig while I can and then after what I'm sure will be another night of very little sleep it will be Easter. Easter, and our little man will be hunting eggs and all the things that Easter is great for doing when you are a kid. Then my family is going to come over, for what will probably be the last holiday I spend with them for awhile. In other words dear readers, like I said before, I am buried under the shit storm of moving. Other then that I will move on to the news.

The coyote in the Quiznos. Am I the only one that wishes this pup had felt more in the mood for a beer? How great would it have been if he had found his way in to a bar and hopped up on the counter instead of the cooler? I know a few people would have been convinced they had been slipped something in their drink. My view on it, the furry guy just wanted a sandwich, who doesn't from time to time.

The next bit of news was not as wide spread as the coyote business, but just as interesting. A 700 lb woman had to be cut out of her house the other day. She had fallen and needed emergency assistance. As the emergency personnel cut her out of her house she was reported to have a very pleasant attitude and joked about the situation. My initial reaction to this story was a thought that I know a woman well on the road to this situation, it will happen shortly after she eats her husband for not dividing up the food to the portions she feels is equal. The only difference, no one will ever know she needs help because she will refuse to use the phone due to some strange mental issue. My second reaction, I am rather amazed that a 700 pound woman was up walking around. Her legs must be really strong.